The Girl I Was Before

posted on December 5, 2018

Leaving the old me behind didn’t happen overnight. But, who was the ‘old me’?

  • A girl who justified her worth by how big her ass-to-waist ratio was.
  • A girl who looked for validation on Instagram by posting pictures of her body.
  • A girl who felt she was special only because of her physique.
  • A girl who was in constant competition with other fitness influencers.
  • A girl who disregarded her health to achieve an aesthetic which would be praised online.

I was this girl – but not because I was selfish or vein. I’d been sucked so deep into the fitspo community on Instagram and I got lost in it. I felt special, celebrated and worthy.

There are thousands of girls who are currently experiencing this, but many may feel trapped, be in denial or unaware as I was. They may also be scared to break free for fear of losing Instagram followers or feeling ‘unwanted’ or ‘not of value’ anymore.

I broke free from this cycle, and it was the best thing I ever decided to do for myself. The followers that I’ve lost have been small price to pay for the potential mental and physical damage that would have happened if I’d continued as I was. Besides, who wants followers who are willing to leave the moment you decide to hide your body and show your personality… Not me. I think the most alarming thing about this has been how verbal these people were before they left via comments and messages expressing their disappointment in my content change. It’s reactions and pressure like this which can make the situation worse.

Only now that I’m out of the other side can I see how poisonous social media can be, and how important it is that we don’t get caught up in all of this shit at the detriment of our health. Younger people especially must learn to detach their worth from likes, followers and interactions on social media.